Finally
by Sammi Kadachi Metallium Ishida
Summary: The story of when I first got the JtHM Directors cut...a month ago. Includes the story of the two friends I forced it upon, and the troubles I had to face. It's really nice though. READ IT!!! OR FACE MY WRAAAATH!


It all started a few months ago when I first joined Fanfiction.net. Of   
course, it was about a month later when I finally got into Invader Zim. I  
barely remembered any of the episodes or any of the characters names (if you  
read my story "Things Change", second chapter, you'll see me asking for the  
teachers name).  
  
I started paying a lot more attention to the episodes, and got very angry at  
myself to have actually been stupid enough not to like it very much when it  
first came out.  
  
After reading more fanfics, I realized that a lot of people were talking   
about characters named 'Nny and Squee. Being the idiot 11-year-old I was, I  
dropped it, figuring that they were some characters I didn't remember. I even  
went as far to pronounce 'Nny as nin-ee, not to mention I thought that he was  
a GIRL! What? When I pronounced it the totally *wrong* way I did, I thought   
of "Nancy" or something! I didn't *know* his name was Johnny!  
  
Then there was one of my reviewers, Amethyst Soul, who I started   
emailing. I had almost forgotten about 'Nny and Squee (even though they still  
pinched at my brain) until Amethyst Soul mentioned 'Nny in an email, which  
was when I totally blew.  
  
"EVERYONE KNOWS WHO THESE 'NNY AND SQUEE PEOPLE ARE BUT ME!" I typed in *big*  
capital letters. "WHO ARE THEY?! WHOOO ARRE THEEY?!"  
  
I told my friend, Hannah, I had asked someone; since she knew how much it was  
bugging me. In the email back from Amethyst Soul, she told me to "stop by a  
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac website sometime."  
  
Well, the name struck me as very odd, so I never went to one, since she had  
explained to me who the people were. That was enough for me. The nagging had  
left my head. In fact, I forgot all about JtHM, celebrated my birthday on  
July 6, went to camp, and the subject never came up once.  
  
Then I came home on August 19. I don't know what made me do it, but someone,  
maybe a reviewer, mentioned the guy, which led me to be so sickened that I  
tried every URL I could think of that could send me to a JtHM site, until I  
found JhonenVasquez.com, where I went all over the Yahoo webrings trying to  
piece the pictures together. The milk one especially. By the way, *this* was  
somewhere around, oh, say September 15.  
  
It wasn't until early October I decided I *had* to get one of them and see if  
I really did like it.  
  
October 20th...I went to the Atomic Comics store up the street. I started  
to look through one of the ten boxes filled with comic books; with my aunt  
looking over my shoulder, having no idea whatsoever what I was doing.  
  
"Come on, Samantha!" she said, impatient. "Tell me the name of the comic!"  
  
"Johnny the Homicidal Maniac," I muttered. My aunt went up to the counter   
and asked for it. I left the store.  
  
My aunt told me that they had run out months ago, but the last time the   
worker had seen one was at the Hot Topic in our mall...three months ago.  
  
Doubtful, but still hopeful (yeah, that's me), I tried to find a way to get  
to the mall...without anyone knowing. Like that could happen.  
  
Thursday, October 25. That night, my dad took my friend, Maggie (who was a  
bit interested in JtHM from what I had told her, not to mention she had had a  
very interesting dream a week ago about a horse named Winkybutt) and me to  
The Haunted Labyrinth. My mom was going to the mall. Before I left, she   
asked, "What's the name of that comic you want?"  
  
I scribbled it out on a piece of paper, and handed it to her. Dad drove me  
over to Maggie's house. We went through the Labyrinth, which I think has  
traumatized me for life, and then took Maggie home.  
  
I didn't remember anything about JtHM until I got home. My mom wasn't home   
yet. She came home about ten minutes later, carrying a bag. I warned myself   
not to get my hopes up. It was pink and white for God's sake!  
  
We talked for a few minutes. I don't think I ever took my eyes off that bag.  
I had practically become obsessed with getting my hands on one of those...  
making evil schemes and stuff like that.  
  
"By the way..." my mom started, picking the bag up. My eyes practically   
popped out of my head!  
  
"You didn't..."  
  
She took a black bag out of the pretty little pink one. It had HOT TOPIC   
written over it in red. She pulled out two books, one I recognized   
immediately...as Johnny the Homicidal Maniac Issue 1. The other one, after I  
read the title, was the JtHM DIRECTORS CUT.  
  
Before I even *thought* of taking JtHM1 out of the plastic, I took off   
running, swerved into my room, logged onto the internet and emailed Amethyst  
Soul. I'm pretty sure I was wearing a Johnny-smile.  
  
Then I went into my mom's room. Since all my stuff is currenly on my bed  
because of floor work, I sleep in there while she sleeps on the couch. I got  
out my spanish book. There was a test the next day. Screw it, I thought. I  
took out my JtHM issue 1 and started reading.  
  
Ending, and starting on the directors cut, it only took me about three   
seconds to realize that it was mostly all in one, with probably a few strips  
cut.  
  
I had gotten about halfway through before it was 10:00, and I had to put it  
down. But I did what I always do--I put the TV on and read from its light.   
It's a risk I take every night.  
  
Even though my mom had gotten me the book, I knew that wasn't the end of it.  
And sure enough, she made me keep my mouth shut about it. She didn't want me  
to show it to Maggie, and she didn't want me to tell anyone I had it. She was  
embarrassed.   
  
I read most of it with Maggie on the bus. I had given her a sort of summary  
of what happens in the future (I had gotten it off the webrings) and she  
begged me to tell her when I got to the heaven/hell strips while she did her  
homework.   
  
I got to it on the ride home, and read it while she hung over my shoulder.  
Well, most of it. The bus came to her stop a few minutes later, and I   
finished the cut when I got home. I never thought I had to hide it until my  
mom got suspicious that the comic book was influencing me (but you know, this  
is the woman who thinks that if I'm online late at night, I'm talking to   
someone and swapping INFORMATION, and thought someone had been doing THINGS  
to me when I watched Liar Liar: Between Father and Daughter on Lifetime) to  
do weird things. The woman actually thought I was going to walk around with  
neon-green hair, black lipstick, a spiked collar, and a gun killing people.  
  
But the day I decided to hide it was when she tried to get her hands on it to  
read it over. If she didn't think it was appropriate, she was going to take   
it. I jumped away and ran to my room screaming something like, "No! Stand   
away!"  
  
I opened my closet (the biggest disaster in the world) and shoved that and   
issue 1 in the back where she could never find it. But I didn't keep it in  
there. I kept it in my backpack for a while and went over the heaven/hell  
strip again with Maggie (which was when we discovered the "What the hell is  
that?!" chicken/potato guy in the strip with the little kid shouting,  
"GRAWMA!!!" Then we hopped off the bus and talked about potatos and reject-  
jellybeans for awhile.   
  
After her, I didn't expect to be so mean as to "force it upon ANOTHER   
friend", but I sort of did. I showed her my comic book rack, and she pulled  
off the two immediately. One of her other friends had read the books also,   
which made me very happy when I found out I wasn't the only kid in Rhode   
Island that did.   
  
"Oh, Hannah, those are funny! They really are!" I said, trying to get her to  
open it (which was what she was doing as I spoke).  
  
"I know! I've never read one of these!" she replied, and flipped through it a  
bit. One of the strips I forced her to read was the one with the murder  
survey.   
  
"Pain. Good?" she read aloud. "Oh god, that is so something Xellos would   
say!"  
  
After that, the only person I mention it to is Maggie. I try to stay off the  
subject with my mom and everyone else, even though my aunt calls me "Shmee"  
more times than I would prefer. And I don't know what made me do it, but I  
skimmed through the whole Directors Cut just to count exactly how many times  
'Nny swears. I counted over 70. Hey, it was 11:00 on a school night, and I  
was bored.   
  
It's really too bad that 'Nny was made fun of...I am extremely skinny, but  
no one makes fun of me. In fact, I have some of my friends going, "Samantha,  
you're so lucky. Can we switch bodies?" which is flattering, even though it  
kind of creeps me out (and it's hard to believe that I stay this way when   
after every school day, without fail, I sit in front of the TV for half an  
hour, drink chocolate milk, and eat potato chips and cookies. Plus, one of  
my nicknames (I have what, 25?) is Twig.   
  
November 21: That day, I was assured my mom hadn't forgotten. Last time I   
went to the mall with dad on the Sunday before (to see Harry Potter. I saw  
it again with my mom on Thanksgiving. Twice! HA! TWICE!) and saw Calvin and  
Hobbes comics, which I hadn't seen in a while. I told my mom I wanted to go  
to Borders after to get comic books. She eyed me all suspiciously after a   
moment, and said, "What kind of comics?" Sometimes she bugs me so much I   
want to scream. Sometimes I wish she could bug off. No matter what,   
everything I do makes her suspicious. No matter what, she always thinks the  
worst of me. No one here can imagine how many times I've sworn at her under  
my breath.   
  
But besides that, I have Maggie telling me I'd "Go good with Johnny because I  
just seem like someone who could go with a homicidal". I admit, I don't mind  
it. But now I have to come up with another plan to get the "I Feel Sick".   
That may take a while...maybe I'll just wait until I meet someone who has   
them. *Evil 'Nny grin* 


End file.
